Confession #5 - The Guilt...

Why do I feel so guilty?  Like I'm doing something wrong, thinking about the things I think about, watching this debauchery.  I guess, it's because something tells me I could be doing more right now.  Something more worthwhile.  Something to better myself or the world around me.  Volunteer time or something.  But instead, I'm here stoned off my ass watching this:


Cock and Finger Fuck - Skeezy

What a way to spend my lunch break, eh?  With cock in my hand as the rest of the world functions properly.  

Crazy thing is...Is, I'm crazy in LOVE with my girl.  Our sex has been out-of control HOT! lately as well...So why the fuck! am I thinking about shit like this?  

Please tell me?  I'd like to know.  Any comment's would be appreciated.  Sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to a screen here...Ya know what I mean?

But to be honest, I'd rather be here instead of in some other dudes place bending him over the dining room table while the wife's away.

Here is the question?  Does the thoughts count as cheating?  

Confession #4 - I have a secret boyfriend...

Yeah...I know, I keep saying I'm committed, and I am.  But every now and then...I just have to get it! You know? 

She knows about it him.  In fact, she sometimes encourages me to see him.  The thing is, she's him.  She's the secret lover.  She just straps it on and does me good.

Confession #3 - Examining the source of my Curiosity

Naturally, after creating this blog, I did a posting on craigslist: Jock Bi guy looking for Friends not looking to hook-up, but to find others in the same situation and interested in sharing their stories and experiences.  

What I got was a mailbox full of stuff like this:

Fuckin hot bod stud...into/lkg

From: ruffstudla@aol.com

& 

25 hottie 5'11 - 160, brbr, great shape here: from cyermanos@msn.com

Liked the posting.  Here's mine, let me know you're into anything...

Looking for sometime tonight.... VGL here....

If you like what you see... Hit them up!

Personally, I'm not looking.  I'm just here examining the source of my curiosity and asking you to sare your experiences, fantasies, and desires as a bi-man in a committed and honest relationship.

Confession #2 - Craigslist

How did it all happen?

I guess like this...

Next thing you know I find Craigslist - M4M - craigslist | personals

The not so secret, secret place I go to as a bi boy to unlock the curiosity that dwells inside...

ANY STR8/Bi dudes can host a discreet cocksucker?

Damn!  This is gross!  But kind-of hot...

The more I surf, the more I discovered...I'm not alone...

Got this in my Hand, I'm Str8 Looking to try something new

It's interesting to discover posts like this one below although I can understand how and why it happens.   

~MARRIED, HAIRY HOLE NEEDS ATTENTION~ HOSTING

I guess, that's why I'm here now.  So I can avoid getting into a situation where I have to hide.   Or do something like this:

BIG STR8 COCK 4 SUCKIN

Do you think his girlfriend's aware he's blowing loads for cash.  "Hey honey, I want a new pair of shoes, get online and get some dude to suck your fat cock." 

It all starts somewhere.   

My first experience with a dude was with a guy I met online.  We exchanged e-mails, chatted via instant messaging and had several hot phone sessions for months before we actually met up. Finally, when we did, my whole world changed.  It was REAL...I got turned on by a guy!  Fuck!  

Then I started watching stuff like this...

It's what I just used to blow load...

As I was browsing the one of my favorite free sites...I stumbled upon this fun video...

Cool thing is, I've done this before.  I fucked my college housemate in the ass as he gave it hard to this chick one night...We were drunk.  

Since then, I've always wondered what it would be like to be in the middle like that... 

In all reality, this is what I'll be doing here soon when my lady get's home from work.

Not a bad thing at all.  I LOVE it!  But doesn't mean I've stopped thinking about men fucking men.  

I'm not here on the DL trying to hook up with guys.  I'm just here filling these thoughts in my mind with virtual reality.

Confession #1 - Today

I guess it all starts here.

I'm using company time to create a blog site about my sexual deviancy.

Deviance: Look it up.  

Basically, if I wasn't here now, I would be surfing the net for good jerk off material.  Every guy does it, Right? Might as well be redirecting that energy.  

I went to XTube for my DL motivation.   

But this is a confession.  I'm just trying to live an honest life.  

Better go before I get caught.

Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned

It's been awhile since I've done this.  You know?  Tell someone my sins.  I can't remember the last time.  Why I'm here now, is cause I got a sin inside of me I just have to let out.

I'm attracted to guys.  

Don't get me wrong.  I love my girl.  I'm going to marry her one day.  I'm not a cheater.  I will honer and respect her until the day I die.  

So I'm here to let it all out. To let my fantasies play in a world where virtual is reality.  

These are my confessions.